A few words too many
by Eowyn
Summary: There is something that Mamoru wants to tell Usagi and it's not good news... plays after Sailor Stars.


Hi!  
  
After quite some time I came back and edited a few errors. I hate it  
when you stumble over typos all the time :) I also decided to go for  
my real name some time ago so that changed too...  
  
I'd also be more than happy about any comments, good or bad. Not  
hing much to say except: I do not own SailorMoon, so please don't   
sue me for thinking up stories about her!  
  
This fanfiction takes place some years after the last season of   
SailorMoon. It's obviously based on the TV-Series and not the manga :)  
  
The title song is by Billy Myers.  
  
  
  
A Few Words Too Many by Sil (Sil@blackbox.net)  
  
  
  
It had been only ten minutes since he left, but to her it seemed  
like an eternity. Maybe she had been alone a long time before   
without knowing it. It was hard to realize that the dream she had   
built her live on was broken, more than this, gone.   
  
She did not know whose fault it had been, maybe it was nobodys   
fault, it did not matter anymore, he was gone and she was alone.   
After all these years together she had never noticed his   
evasive look or the glitter of relief in his eyes when they had   
found out that she could not get children.  
  
He had never really been happy with her. Oh, he had loved her, but   
how? Like his untouchable princess from another life or like his   
litte sister? She did not know any longer. Both made no difference   
anymore. She still felt the warm touch of his hand on her arm....  
  
  
She had been asleep already but awoke from the footsteps in the li  
ving room. He had been awake all night wandering around their   
apartement. Softly she called him, but he did not notice. Slowly   
she dressed in her morning gown, feeling the change in the air. He   
was not suprised to see her standing in the door. His eyes were wet   
from tears, his voice broken when he said "Usako, I'm sorry!". She   
took him in her arms and he cried on her shoulder for a long time   
until the tears ran dry. She was not sure what this was all about,   
when he took her arm and placed her on the couch. "We have to   
talk!", he said.  
  
She had suspected the worst, that he spent the night with another   
woman, but not this. Not one second had she thought that this could   
happen.  
  
"I don't love you any more, I don't know if I ever loved you, but I   
know that Endymion did.", he said with a broken voice, afraid to   
look at her, afraid of the hurt in her eyes and that he would take   
back what he just said although it was the truth. It had always be  
en true. She did not say anything, so he continued, his black hair   
hiding his now empty blue eyes. "I should have told you earlier, I   
should have known it. We never really had something in common   
between us, nothing except our past, a past long forgotten for eve  
ryone else except us. When I knew that you could not get children,   
when I knew that we would be reborn again as true lovers in Crystal   
Tokyo, I was so relieved that it would not be upon us to do this.   
Do you understand me?", he cried shaking her shoulders. " Do you   
understand?" he whispered.  
  
Of course she did not. How could she? Everything she ever wanted,   
everything that meant something in her live, was her Mamo-chan. He   
had been her dream, her happiness. And now he told her, that he did   
not love her, that he had felt oblieged to stay with her, to try to   
love her. It had been a farce all the time. Of course she too had   
realized that it would not be in her hands to build Crystal Tokio,   
raise Chibi-Usa and fight against the Dark Moon another time. But   
did this mean that there was no future with Mamoru for her in this   
live? For Mamoru it obviously did.  
"B...but don't you love me?", she whispered raising her eyes to   
his. Those big blue eyes, shimmering with tears seemed like the   
endless ocean to him. Those beautiful, beautiful eyes that expres  
sed nothing else then hurt and hope now. Those eyes that had always   
made him smile. He searched his soul, remembering all those small   
things that he had loved about her, once upon a time. But now it   
was different, the memories had faded, Endymion had faded from him.   
There was only Mamoru left now.  
  
"I .....don't.", he said, breaking away from her steady gaze. He   
did not know what he should say, he talked a long time though, tel  
ling her about his feelings, his confussion and his decision. She   
did not listen any longer. The only thing in her mind was the song   
" A few words too many". Always the same few words, round and round   
in her head.  
  
  
Wait a minute  
What did you say  
Did I hear you say  
There's no real reason left for you to stay?  
Under your breath I hear your soft voice break  
Can we still be friends  
I hear you talking but you're just not making sense  
I've been hoping for a happy ending  
Now I know that there won't be any  
  
Chorus:  
Just a few words too many  
In my head  
A few words too many  
In this bed  
A few words too many  
Left unsaid  
Oh I wish that we were strangers  
We could start again  
Start again  
All over  
  
A broken shadow falls across your face  
As you hesitate  
Trying to think of all the things you need to say  
  
Bare face the truth lies at my feet  
As you turn away  
Sometimes silence has a way of making peace  
  
I've been hoping for a happy ending  
Now I knew that there won't be any  
  
Chorus  
  
Staring at the ceiling  
Wondering just what you're feeling  
Was it me  
Or was it you  
What's the difference  
If I knew  
  
Maybe I wouldn't feel so empty  
If I had heard a few words too many  
In my head  
A few words too many  
In this bed  
A few words too many  
Left unsaid  
  
Oh I wish that we were strangers  
We could start again  
Start again  
Start all over again  
  
We could start again  
We could start again  
  
Round and round and round and round  
In my head  
  
Yeah  
  
Wait a minute  
What did you say  
Did I hear you say  
  
She awoke from her stasis when he stood up. "Do you understand?" he   
asked again. As if it would matter. He had made his choice for both   
of them. There was no they any longer. Now she understood. There   
had never been a they after the final battle with Galaxia and definitly   
not after that visit to the doctor. Perhaps she had felt it too.   
The feeling that it was too early, too soon for both of them, too   
soon for a happy ending. Perhaps. Slowly she nodded. "Yes, I under  
stand." she whispered with a broken voice.  
  
"Can we be friends", he asked timidly. "Like in the song.", she   
thought, " just like in the song."   
  
"Mamoru.", he winced at this, she had always called him Mamo-chan,   
as far as he could remember. "Please leave me alone now." she said.   
She could not believe it herself. It was gone, the feeling was   
gone, all there was left was a space filled with emptiness. He made   
a last attempt, a last try to get her absolution, but she did not   
listen any longer. She was gone, lost in her thoughts of loneliness   
and pain. After a last long look he had left.  
  
She heard the door close with a pang, she felt like a bullet had   
hit her heart, like it had burst from within, by something well   
kept and well warmed there. Yes, now he was gone, and he had been   
gone long before this moment. There was no way she could lie to   
herself any longer. She had known it all along. It was so hard to   
look at the truth, to think about all the times he had looked at   
her with those beautiful blue eyes, and nothing in them. The change   
had started soon after their last battle, soon after the Sailor Senshi   
had disappeared from the front pages of the newspapers. She had   
loved him anyway, beyond the love of the fading moon princess within   
her.  
  
There was nothing to be done now. Slowly the pain eased. When the   
sun rose over the horizon she was already asleep. Deep within her,   
the silver millenium crystal that was also her star seed, worked.   
It cleaned away the hurt, the pain, the loneliness and left only   
hope. Another star seed far away awoke its owner. It was time now.   
Time for the unthinkable, time for the connection of two star seeds   
that should never have met. Time for a new life, at least in this   
one they both should have a chance at their own little piece of   
happiness.  
  
Usagi awoke when the sun touched her face. Slowly she streched yaw  
ning and relaxed. Then she remembered it, all of it. To her sur  
prise it did not hurt. It did not matter anymore. She could feel   
his presence, the speeding up of her heart-beat. He was near. She   
undressed and slipped under the showder. Than she chose the ligh  
test and happiest of her summer dresses. She was ready when he   
knocked at her door. Excited and a little bit anxious she went to   
open it. She paused a second, enveloped in the feeling of things to   
come.   
  
She pushed the door-handle and there he was. Long, dark hair sur  
rounded his expressive face. Dark blue eyes were looking at her.   
"I'm here." he said. She smiled at him with this beautiful smile of   
hers and took him by his hand. " I want to go to the park.", she   
said, giggling softly at the look on his face when she drew him af  
ter her. Finally he was back. Finally he was here. The love of her   
live, the love of THIS live.  
  
Seiya Kou. 


End file.
